The Tiny Wives Club


  1. The Best Show on WFMU Jokes and Insults: 2007

    These are the jokes and insults for the year 2007. There weren’t as many direct threats at Tom this year, but there was a number of running jokes and themes like being asked to “Define” something or the continual mispronouncing of words. Check out the list for 2008 here and for 2009-2011 here.

    1/2/07 Trip Whiting:

    -He’s not just a pornographer you creep.

    1/23/07 Bryce:

    -We like the night life baby…she says, you die. (To the tune of The Cars “Lets Go”)

    1/30/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -You anglo-dummy.

    2/6/07 Kip Palfner:

    -Well then I would flick the cane and the blade would come out and I would slash you in the face.

    -I’m going to make you eat the bible. And not from your mouth.

    3/7/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -Oh come on you dumb Philly dummy, stupid.

    4/17/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -Carte lunch. (Cart lunch)

    -Blackberries. (Blackberry phone)

    -Bob Dylban. (Bob Dylan)

    -Not of my own violation. (volition)

    -I always thought it was M. Night Chameleonnenen. (M. Night Shyamalan)

    -I’m in one of those dog cages. Like for a great dame. (great dane)

    5/8/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -I’m like the new chive Davis. (Clive Davis)

    -They got these things called distributors too. And I ain’t talking about the thing under the hood of your car. (defibrillators)

    -Yeah. I’d probably end up killing ya. Or Doug would.

    -Yeah at a musian. (museum)

    -Still recovering from the psychic scars. (psychological scars)

    -They got no skin on them so you see the corroded artery (carotid artery), the fibula, the larvae (?), all the musculature. It’s all there and its so crazy.

    -What do you think I am some kind of idi-oat? (idiot)

    -Youves never know. (You will)

    5/15/07 Tom’s brother Dom:

    -Consola-dummies

    -I actually saw it on Keith Overland. (Keith Olbermann)

    -You stink you little dweeb-oid.

    -I know you and dad never thought I passed mustard.

    -Remember when Andre 2000 fought Muhammad Ali. (Andre 3000)

    -They did that song “Boo Ya”. (Hey Ya)

    -Define “written”.

    5/22/07 Power Pop Enthusiast:

    -He’s in that huge house on Newbridge mewus. (mews)

    5/29/07 Matthew Tompkins:

    -That song by Sir mix it up. (Sir Mix-a-lot)

    -What’s Brady’s bunch? (Brady Bunch)

    -Well Todd you got to look past the wealth. (Tom)

    -He totally sings from his diode. (diaphragm) Deep within.

    -Tom define know, about and Jerry.

    -I have a very good handle on the human contraption. (condition)

    -And the alternate comedian Patton Oswald. (Patton Oswalt)

    -You know where you will see it? The other end.

    6/5/07 The Gorch:

    -Define “OK”.

    -She dropped me like a hot chain.

    -To make you suck chain.

    -Totally cristine. It’s in cristine shape. (pristine)

    -It was a cath-arctic experience. (cathartic)

    6/5/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -I bought her a scarf at carter. (Cartier)

    -Define “run”.

    -They thought I was a poor. But I’m a rich.

    -Like I’m a rich and you are a poor. I mean you got to be. Look at cha.

    -My accountant says I’m totally solved. (solvent)

    -You’re like an ape. A little less hairy though.

    -I treat the famed and the slobs the same. No one gets presidential treatment. (preferential)

    6/12/07 Mark the Reporter:

    -Define “know”.

    6/19/07 Power Pop Enthusiast:

    -Define “involved”.

    -Define “putting him out on the raft”.

    7/3/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -If I had my brothers (druthers) I’d reunite the cast of Dr. T and the Women.

    -The lockness mobster. (monster)

    -But they are always in danger of getting arrested by the blobbies. (bobbies) That’s the police over there in England.

    -Define “say”.

    -I saw a great movie while I was out there. Ratalouie. (Ratatouille)

    -You’re my Philla-minion.

    -All the deals are going to get announced in Viority magazine. (Variety)

    7/10/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -I also loved you in Ratalouie. (Ratatouille)

    -Define “take”.

    -Well in the movie, Brandon Frasier, he plays a guy in his early sixties.

    -Define “safe”.

    -Define “no”.

    -A lot of fires in a lot of irons.

    -Define “film”.

    7/17/07 Hammerhead:

    -I’ll smash you man. I’ll do it again I’ll punch you right in the back.

    -I got a great brandy sniffer. (snifter)

    -You’re going to get a point. Elbow right in the face. Nudge you.

    7/24/07 Bob:

    -You got your show from ectoplasm.(nepotism)

    -Oh Paul F Topkins you’re the greatest. (Tompkins) Patton Oswald you were awesome in rat patrol. (Oswalt) (Ratatouille)

    -He plays Rudy rude the rat with tude. (Remy the Rat)

    -Smash your teeth in your face. Like Rollins would.

    7/24/07 Thor:

    -This show stinks. You’re done. You’re over.

    -Total yawn fest.

    7/31/07 Thor:

    -It’s a big part of my camplain. (campaign)

    7/31/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -That’s a day that will live in infantry. (infamy)

    -Define “steal”.

    -And I could have it as a mometo. (memento)

    -The Philadelphia musenem of art. (museum)

    -Define “actually”.

    -They’re kind of the pre-curse word to them steak chucks. (precursor)

    8/14/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -Like I was from out of space.

    -From planet marszook. (Mars)

    -Define “married”.

    -Define “back”.

    -By all the tennis of their religion. (tenets)

    8/21/07 Philly Boy Roy:

    -Who’s Annie warhole? (Andy Warhol)

    8/28/07 Darren:

    -I’d go into the garage and eat my hut dog in the dark. (hot dog)

    10/9/07 Tank from Deltoid Airlines:

    -He said you were like 2’8” or something. A real pibsqueak.

    -Hey don’t get lippy with me.

    -Get ready to meet my little friend.

    -You little knub.

    -I want to take this opportunity to announce my candya-see for the Newbridge mayubinatorial election. (candidacy)

    -I’m the candy-date with the biggest most muscular calves. (candidate)

    -My first act as mayor will be to crush your head between my calves in public.

    10/16/07 Timmy Von Trimble:

    -That’s the one that they sell to the guys that don’t have no testoblerone. (testosterone)

    -Get ready to meet my little doc Martins.

    10/23/07 Bryce:

    -He makes you do stuff. Stuff you’d never do of your own coalition. (volition)

    -The opus is on you man. (onus)

    -I’m going to be officially announcing my candidass-e. (candidacy)

    -I’ll wield something on your head, my bong.

    -Get ready to meet my little tie die shoe.

    11/13/07 Gene Simmons:

    -Your voice is so grating on my ears.

    -When elected you will be the first person to suffer the wrath of my Gene Simmons axe bass.

    -If it comes down to it you will be losing your head.

    -Get ready heads will roll. Well I should say head will roll. Yours.

    11/20/07 Ronald Thomas Clontle:

    -My first act is gonna entail you being drawn and quartered. Someone draws a picture of all the townspeople throwing quarters at you.

    -Get ready to swim cause its going to be fun. Except for the part where you drown.