These are the jokes and insults for the year 2007. There weren’t as many direct threats at Tom this year, but there was a number of running jokes and themes like being asked to “Define” something or the continual mispronouncing of words. Check out the list for 2008 here and for 2009-2011 here.
1/2/07 Trip Whiting:
-He’s not just a pornographer you creep.
-We like the night life baby…she says, you die. (To the tune of The Cars “Lets Go”)
1/30/07 Philly Boy Roy:
2/6/07 Kip Palfner:
-Well then I would flick the cane and the blade would come out and I would slash you in the face.
-I’m going to make you eat the bible. And not from your mouth.
3/7/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-Oh come on you dumb Philly dummy, stupid.
4/17/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-Carte lunch. (Cart lunch)
-Blackberries. (Blackberry phone)
-Bob Dylban. (Bob Dylan)
-Not of my own violation. (volition)
-I always thought it was M. Night Chameleonnenen. (M. Night Shyamalan)
-I’m in one of those dog cages. Like for a great dame. (great dane)
5/8/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-I’m like the new chive Davis. (Clive Davis)
-They got these things called distributors too. And I ain’t talking about the thing under the hood of your car. (defibrillators)
-Yeah. I’d probably end up killing ya. Or Doug would.
-Yeah at a musian. (museum)
-Still recovering from the psychic scars. (psychological scars)
-They got no skin on them so you see the corroded artery (carotid artery), the fibula, the larvae (?), all the musculature. It’s all there and its so crazy.
-What do you think I am some kind of idi-oat? (idiot)
-Youves never know. (You will)
5/15/07 Tom’s brother Dom:
-I actually saw it on Keith Overland. (Keith Olbermann)
-You stink you little dweeb-oid.
-I know you and dad never thought I passed mustard.
-Remember when Andre 2000 fought Muhammad Ali. (Andre 3000)
-They did that song “Boo Ya”. (Hey Ya)
5/22/07 Power Pop Enthusiast:
-He’s in that huge house on Newbridge mewus. (mews)
5/29/07 Matthew Tompkins:
-That song by Sir mix it up. (Sir Mix-a-lot)
-What’s Brady’s bunch? (Brady Bunch)
-Well Todd you got to look past the wealth. (Tom)
-He totally sings from his diode. (diaphragm) Deep within.
-Tom define know, about and Jerry.
-I have a very good handle on the human contraption. (condition)
-And the alternate comedian Patton Oswald. (Patton Oswalt)
-You know where you will see it? The other end.
6/5/07 The Gorch:
-She dropped me like a hot chain.
-To make you suck chain.
-Totally cristine. It’s in cristine shape. (pristine)
-It was a cath-arctic experience. (cathartic)
6/5/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-I bought her a scarf at carter. (Cartier)
-They thought I was a poor. But I’m a rich.
-Like I’m a rich and you are a poor. I mean you got to be. Look at cha.
-My accountant says I’m totally solved. (solvent)
-You’re like an ape. A little less hairy though.
-I treat the famed and the slobs the same. No one gets presidential treatment. (preferential)
6/12/07 Mark the Reporter:
6/19/07 Power Pop Enthusiast:
-Define “putting him out on the raft”.
7/3/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-If I had my brothers (druthers) I’d reunite the cast of Dr. T and the Women.
-The lockness mobster. (monster)
-But they are always in danger of getting arrested by the blobbies. (bobbies) That’s the police over there in England.
-I saw a great movie while I was out there. Ratalouie. (Ratatouille)
-You’re my Philla-minion.
-All the deals are going to get announced in Viority magazine. (Variety)
7/10/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-I also loved you in Ratalouie. (Ratatouille)
-Well in the movie, Brandon Frasier, he plays a guy in his early sixties.
-A lot of fires in a lot of irons.
-I’ll smash you man. I’ll do it again I’ll punch you right in the back.
-I got a great brandy sniffer. (snifter)
-You’re going to get a point. Elbow right in the face. Nudge you.
-You got your show from ectoplasm.(nepotism)
-Oh Paul F Topkins you’re the greatest. (Tompkins) Patton Oswald you were awesome in rat patrol. (Oswalt) (Ratatouille)
-He plays Rudy rude the rat with tude. (Remy the Rat)
-Smash your teeth in your face. Like Rollins would.
-This show stinks. You’re done. You’re over.
-Total yawn fest.
-It’s a big part of my camplain. (campaign)
7/31/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-That’s a day that will live in infantry. (infamy)
-And I could have it as a mometo. (memento)
-The Philadelphia musenem of art. (museum)
-They’re kind of the pre-curse word to them steak chucks. (precursor)
8/14/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-Like I was from out of space.
-From planet marszook. (Mars)
-By all the tennis of their religion. (tenets)
8/21/07 Philly Boy Roy:
-Who’s Annie warhole? (Andy Warhol)
-I’d go into the garage and eat my hut dog in the dark. (hot dog)
10/9/07 Tank from Deltoid Airlines:
-He said you were like 2’8” or something. A real pibsqueak.
-Hey don’t get lippy with me.
-Get ready to meet my little friend.
-You little knub.
-I want to take this opportunity to announce my candya-see for the Newbridge mayubinatorial election. (candidacy)
-I’m the candy-date with the biggest most muscular calves. (candidate)
-My first act as mayor will be to crush your head between my calves in public.
10/16/07 Timmy Von Trimble:
-That’s the one that they sell to the guys that don’t have no testoblerone. (testosterone)
-Get ready to meet my little doc Martins.
-He makes you do stuff. Stuff you’d never do of your own coalition. (volition)
-The opus is on you man. (onus)
-I’m going to be officially announcing my candidass-e. (candidacy)
-I’ll wield something on your head, my bong.
-Get ready to meet my little tie die shoe.
11/13/07 Gene Simmons:
-Your voice is so grating on my ears.
-When elected you will be the first person to suffer the wrath of my Gene Simmons axe bass.
-If it comes down to it you will be losing your head.
-Get ready heads will roll. Well I should say head will roll. Yours.
11/20/07 Ronald Thomas Clontle:
-My first act is gonna entail you being drawn and quartered. Someone draws a picture of all the townspeople throwing quarters at you.
-Get ready to swim cause its going to be fun. Except for the part where you drown.